- The TikTok series asks social worker gentleman McClurin simple “life-changing questions”.
- MacLaurin says each one has sparked his ideas both for himself and for his clients.
- Once you know the answers, McLaurin says you should act by building healthy habits.
The allure of changing our lives in a permanent moment. If we buy that car, or try to blow the blinds again, or Chanting Affirmations Under the Full MoonSo maybe our lives will look different – and better.
But real and lasting change doesn’t work that way, and McClurin Lubricant knows it. McLaurin, a social worker who has a TikTok chain”Life-changing questions“It has gone viral lately, and it doesn’t promise a comprehensive montage of Hollywood’s transformation of your inner life.
She is 28 years old, lives in New York City and has worked as a Licensed Social Worker (LMSW) for seven years, working primarily with young people and families. McLaurin tells me that questions triggered his appearance in himself or his clients, and people should approach broad questions on purpose designed to “take what doesn’t resonate, and let go of what doesn’t.”
MacLaurin tells me that the reason why questions work is that “we have more answers than we give ourselves credit for,” and giving us the opportunity to be present and examine our feelings in the moment can help us connect better with ourselves and others. People.
He’s quick to add that, of course, it’s not as easy as just asking yourself these questions. For people who are ready to “take the music on,” these questions are nothing but prompts—and we might avoid asking them for the reason: “You have to act as soon as you know the answer,” MacLaurin says.
“Do you have proof of that?”
in first clip From the series, McClure asks viewers if they have evidence to support the assumptions they made, explaining that he first looked at the “proof” question when he was convinced that his partner at the time was being unfaithful.
“I was going to let my anxiety lead the way,” he said. “I was filling in the gaps, filling in the blanks, often assuming the worst in terms of people and situations, and paying a lot of care and attention I didn’t need.”
MacLaurin makes clear that the purpose of the question is not so much about what would be considered evidence as to examine what you might be trying to control. “Are you looking for that evidence so you have a way to sabotage yourself?” He asks, “Are you looking for evidence to validate your concerns?”
Often, says McClurin, we seek information to validate our worst fears, and in doing so we become our “worst enemy.” Instead of practicing vulnerability, we try to protect ourselves from emotional harm — abandonment, rejection — by trying to prove that our fears are valid.
“What does it say about my self-esteem that I allow this behavior?”
This is a good question to help pull yourself out of the negative pattern, said McLaurin, remembering when it helped him Ending a toxic relationship. It’s a “great way to shift away from seeking emotional gratification from other sources outside of yourself and develop it yourself,” he said. In the end, it’s an opportunity to reevaluate your relationship with yourself and realign with what you really want for yourself.
“Do they make me feel safe?”
Maclaurin says emotional security With another very important person. People in relationships should consider whether they are able to express themselves without feeling reprimanded, judged, or in danger of losing their love.
But MacLaurin is also quick to add that he’s not necessarily a deal-breaker if the answer is no.
He told me, “There will be conflict in literally every relationship you have when there are two separate people or multiple people separated.” “We all want different things and have different experiences.” So, the key is to challenge yourself to express this discomfort when it inevitably arises — and by doing so, create an opportunity for you and your loved ones to learn how to resolve conflict healthily.
Distractions help us avoid feeling our feelings – but they are important for building healthy relationships
Maclaurin says so. Unfortunately, people tend to intentionally disconnect or get away from moments of self-reflection by getting distracted using social media.
These simple questions – ironically, he knows, were presented to viewers via a An addictive social media app – It can help you start checking in with yourself. And for Mclaurin, it’s a chance to meet people exactly where they are – skydiving into mental health insights into the endless distraction slot machine of TikTok FYP.
“I’m not they He told me a therapist, pointing to the hundreds of thousands of people who have just watched his videos. “I am a therapist who uses social media.”
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