- When my best friend invited me to Columbia with her and her boyfriend, I took a chance.
- I wouldn’t mind being a third wheel – you get companionship while you’re still single.
- We loved our summer together in Medellin, and now, we’re heading to Buenos Aires for the fall.
I have always dreamed of traveling the world with the love of my life. Unfortunately, he hasn’t shown up yet, so now I’m doing it with my best friend Camila.
Well, to be honest, she’s been living the best of her “Eat, Pray, Love” Julia Roberts life, expat style in Medellin, Colombia, four months ago with her boyfriend, Tyler. But when I suggested that I join them in July until the end of summer, I took the opportunity.
At the time, I was also living abroad, moving around in different countries, but making the trip on my own. God knows how many foreign meals I had experienced Silently in a crowded room, staring into the abyss – the call came just in time. I’ve known Camilla since sixth grade when we were sitting next to each other, and our friendship took full circle when I booked a monthly Airbnb in the block next door.
“Do you follow Camila and her boyfriend to Colombia?” asked Monica, my other best friend. “You invited me!” I said.
Spending long periods of time with my friends and romantic partners wasn’t new to me. In fact, in May 2021, I moved in with Monica and her friend for a month in a guest room in Miami because I needed a change of scenery. Escaping with close friends and their significant other wasn’t something you needed to convince me to do; I wasn’t about to stop making memories with people because they already had one plus sign.
I’ve never felt like a third wheel – just another part of their family
During my first few days in Medellin, Camila invited me to lunch. I sat next to Tyler, both of them on the other side of the table. The housekeeper made us salmon, rice and veggies, which is one of my favorite dishes. Camila expressed her frustration with something Tyler posted on Twitter earlier that week. He had thanked his circle of day traders for going through the worst professional week of his life, and I felt the emotional support I had given him was not being recognized.
I mentioned the fact that Tyler regularly shows his appreciation in real life. “I think,” she said, smiling. The conflict was defused, and the three of us continued to talk happily.
Despite the popular depiction of being the third It often makes us think that it will make one’s celibacy feel especially lonely or lonely, I’ve never felt this way, and I’ve never felt so uncomfortable. Instead, I felt like I was part of their little family.
The following weekend, Camila and Tyler invited me to snowboard in Guatape, a resort town in the Andes, with friends they had met. I got sick in the car during the road trip, so Camila asked her friend in the co-pilot’s seat to switch with me, which reduced the nausea. On the way back, we stopped for dinner. I offered to pay the bill to thank everyone for a great day before realizing it was cash only, and I had none. Tyler discreetly handed me the total in pesos and saved me from embarrassment.
They didn’t seem to help me get out of the commitment but they showed the same desire that I would expect from a partner. I’ve never been around people so intuitive to my needs; That is, at least without the unspoken promise of physical intimacy later. The three of us living away from home together made us more dependent on each other for companionship, making us dependent on each other and building on the trust we already had.
The other night, they insisted that I try the Peruvian food at Chïclayö Cocina Peruana in the Envigado neighborhood. While we were sharing an Uber with the restaurant, they talked in the back seat and I sat in the front. I can’t help but wonder: Do I get too attached to Camila’s relationship? Camilla sat next to me at dinner, and Tyler was on the other side of us. They took bites of each other’s dishes and then my own. I tried to tell them the fries were moist, but Tyler assured me that they are better when they are like that.
They kept inviting me for picnics, and out of anxiety and insecurity I found myself asking Camila, “Are you sure?” Every time she invited me to tick along. She was assuring me that she and Tyler wanted me there; In the end, I believed her.
She formed deeper bonds with Tyler too, and the three of us decided to continue traveling together
At the beginning of August, Tyler’s grandmother passed away. Coincidentally, Abuela was undergoing surgery for thyroid cancer the following week. The night before Operation Abuela, I was in their apartment, and Camila slept on the sofa. At this moment, most likely due to alcohol, I expressed my worst fears to Tyler about what might happen to her.
I never expressed any of this to Camila, but he understood my pain. He packed a pot of cannabis for me, and I appreciate that more than any verbal emotion. It is difficult for me to show weakness; I avoid crying on anyone’s shoulder, and he kept my secret. At that moment, he became my “brother” if you will.
The next day, as we climbed the stairs up to Cerro Pan De Azúcar, a beautiful peak in the Uruguayan mountains, they asked me if I wanted to come with them to Buenos Aires for next September. It was fast approaching, and I hadn’t decided yet if I wanted to stay in Colombia any longer. I told them I would meet them there starting in October, and they agreed to stay so we could make more memories in a new place together.
That week, I dined alone at a restaurant called Carmen, sitting at the bar to order a drink from a waiter that I thought was nice. I didn’t choose to stay in Medellin exactly for his sake, but our flirtatious banter made me realize I didn’t share the best part of Colombia – its locals. All my adventures as part of a trio made me forget the advantages of solo travel.
Is this not the glory of the third command? You will get all the benefits of being surrounded by love while still being able to chase after it at any moment.