Season 7 premiere summary of “The Real Housewives of the Potomac”

No one in Bravo has the right to work like the hardworking ladies of Potomac (DC, Bethesda, and Baltimore). After a delay in the schedule – our cherry blossoms usually arrive in spring or summer—Real Housewives of the Potomac He returns to the compelling and hysterical seventh season in the first 90 minutes.

Everyone on this show—especially lead provocateur Gisele Bryant—knows that they have a job to do, and it’s not just to entertain us with their constant quarrels but to get us invested in their often turbulent and humiliating personal lives. (Do you hear that, Beverly Hills?).

And boy, did we get too much into this first episode. Ashley Darby is getting divorced And the Buying a house with her ex-husband (maybe?) Michael. Candias Dillard Bassett freezes her eggs and yells at Chris for getting him a job. Robyn Dixon wants to get an appointment when she and Juan walk down the aisle (May 2026, I bet). Mia Thornton has been accused of being a kind of opportunist who scares cancer. Karen Hoeger modeling Lucille Ball schtick. Wendy Osefo gets into business with East Coast Lisa Vanderpump, Peter Thomas. Oh, and did I mention the return of Charrisse Jackson-Jordan for unexplained reasons?

Let’s dive into this messy and bloated premiere.

We open our doors with TV’s greatest friends, Karen and Gisele, after a stroll under a million cherry blossom trees somewhere in Washington, D.C. Robin eventually joins. So does Ashley, who sneaks behind women as Michael Myers in a frightening blue metallic jacket.

Immediately, Gisele starts working and asks Ashley about her newly announced divorce. After years of crying over her dysfunctional marriage and defending Michael against allegations of sexual assault, Ashley appears to be deeply unfazed by their split. She casually tells us that Michael wasn’t interested in stopping having threesomes while she wanted monogamy, which is, more or less, the same problem they’ve had for the past six seasons. However, Ashley really does want a home, and it looks like Michael is trying to hold on to it by offering to buy a home under a joint LLC. The women are really confused. But Karen also points out that Ashley, a solitary woman like her, is clearly not ready to part with Michael’s income.

(LR) Charice Jackson Jordan, Mia Thornton, Ashley Darby, and Gisele Bryant.

Shannon Finney / Bravo

Then comes Potomac’s first-ever movie, “You’re Lying About You Got a Disease!” A story when Mia innocently shared her recent cancer concerns on Instagram. It seems Robyn, Gizelle, and Ashley don’t want Mia to post about her health journey unless she knows for sure that she has cancer, or is “attention seeking”. “Don’t just drop the C-word,” says Robin, as though they don’t have to all be so vigilant about the true potential for cancer in adult women. Apparently, Mia’s emotional (albeit mysterious) engagement is somehow a greater insult to the Cancer community than blaming a woman for having her mass checked.

In another medical story, Candias freezes her eggs. She’s also pretty exhausted, which she announces in every scene. Fortunately, the “Drive Back” singer is more interested in screaming at her husband because he’s done a lot more than we care about his fertility journey. It seems Kris can no longer stand the other women who describe him as broken and gets a job as the general manager of a hotel restaurant. Candias, who I imagine has no hospitality or management experience, doesn’t understand why Chris comes home at different times each night. They fight each other on the way home from the fertility clinic. It’s awkward!

In other news, Robyn is meeting up with Charice – who introduced us as if she wasn’t an original cast member – to discuss getting pre-marital with Joanne. Robin is obviously very proud of being the breadwinner now, and so was I watching her subtly flaunt throughout that scene. We also finally saw Mia, who is renting a house in the Potomac near Karen. (Although, according to her recent Instagram posts, that may not last for long.) Mia briefly explains that she had a biopsy and had many lumps being checked for. Karen stops by her house to warn her about other women’s suspicions about her health problems.

(LR) Ashley Darby and Candias Dillard.

Shannon Finney / Bravo

After firing a dimmer candle with a single wick and memorably trampled by Karen, Dr. Wendy upped the ante this season by breaking into the nightlife realm. It’s a huge leap to go from selling direct-to-consumer home accessories to owning a Nigerian lounge, but the aspiring researcher is always ready to expand with the help of The Real Housewives of Atlanta Alum and questionable businessman Peter. It’s hard to tell if this is a good idea or not. Peter gives Wendy 20 percent, which is four times what Lisa Vanderpump gave each of Toms for a restaurant named after them in Vanderpump rules. So it does a better job of them, at least. Wendy also very hilariously believes that the lounge should be a library for children during the day.

Of course, we have to talk more about Ashley’s pending divorce. There’s nothing Ashley loves more than upsetting her protective uncle with news of her disgusting marriage, so we get a scene of him crashing her decision at the prospect of getting a home with Michael while her sons scream in the background. Ashley says in a confession that she didn’t think about what her budget would look like without Michael’s income because she apparently doesn’t pay for anything even as an established reality star, which is definitely a bend.

After a classic scene of Gisele’s girls reading it up to dirty, this premiere culminates with a party hosted by Karen to celebrate spring, so why not? It’s actually a pretty cool event, full of purple, and everyone is dressed decently. We even get the Askale look. For the most part, everyone is reframing Ashley’s situation with Michael, and Gisele and Karen anticipate that she won’t actually go through with his divorce.

Gisele finally comes face-to-face with Mia after all her dirty talk and unfurls the hottest salute. “So this is what cancer/no cancer looks like?” she asks, staring at Mia up and down. “Is this cancer or not cancer?” She continues, as if asking who designed her coat. This is a very insensitive thing to say to someone in the middle of the screening process. And yes, Mia is a woman who has fallen for many lies and thought that a non-surgical vaginal rejuvenation treatment is the same thing as doing a clitoris. But this whole investigation is totally unnecessary, as much as I laughed at the green-eyed bandits who designate themselves the Cancer Police.

(LR) Gisele Bryant, Charice Jackson Jordan, and Ashley Darby.

Aaron Davidson / Bravo

Similarly, Mia says her doctor thought she had lymphoma and told Gisele, “Fuck you.” Of course, Gisele is confused that she will be blamed for making fun of someone’s health. And we end on Karen’s horrified face and her good “to go on”.

Finally, this was probably one of the best season premieres Bravo has had in years. These totally messy women continue to raise the bar for themselves and all the other housewives who think boring gossip spreading and their exodus from Mormonism is enough to amuse us. RHOP He continues to weave immaculately compelling character stories with downright dumb combat, reminding viewers of what Real Housewives It is more entertaining.

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